Saturday · Mar. 19 (2005)

the downward spiral

So, you eat a bowl of Sugar Smacks or whatever, and after the cereal is gone there is that puddle of milk at the end that is 40% sugar. So, you add a little cereal to that because you want to taste the condensed sweetness of the puddle. After you eat that, there is of course a little puddle of milk at the end that is half the size of the first puddle and is by now like 60% sugar. So, you add a little cereal to that, this time just out of a sense of advancing science, and then after you eat that there is basically a half millimeter of pudding left over at the bottom that is roughly 200% sugar. So, you add cereal to the puddle and eat it because you're already sick, and, what the fuck, by this time the experiment has its own inertia.
Then, after that, there is an even smaller puddle of milk...

12 hours later, you wake up on the floor with your cheek stuck to the tile after dreaming that you're a ball of fire, and Ella Fitzgerald is pointing at your feet and laughing and holding a pair of hedge clippers, and your gums are bleeding, and you don't know what month is it for like 15 minutes.
When you finally go to pee, there are ants in it.

Thursday · Mar. 17 (2005)

Telling doodle drawn while on the phone with a lawyer

I'm not even part of the proceedings, I just sort of absent-mindedly Rorschach'd.

Wednesday · Mar. 02 (2005)

The Hard Way

Last night I ate a cheese pizza. This morning while processing the result on the toilet I suddenly sneezed, causing an involuntary body-wide clench. This has had two unfortunate results-

1. I need a new toilet, as the old one now looks like it's waiting for a young Arthur to stroll by and prove himself to be king and

2. There is a specific act which I'll never pester a woman for. Ever.