Fluids

Yeah yeah yeah-- no liquids on planes, now, swell, whatever. Say, are they still handing out earphones with long rubberized cords which could strangle an elephant? They are? Good, I'll definitely need that when in-flight water magically becomes $9 a bottle and I have to kill someone to get a drink.

Right now I'm watching Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez on the news hovering around behind Michael Chertoff looking sheepish because he had to do what everyone who has a shitty desk job has to do: stop looking at internet porn long enough to seem busy because the job unexpectedly flared up for a moment and the boss popped his head in. He looks unhappy. Al, get back to forgetting about the actual threat to our lives and return to that totally necessary war on net porn, willya? I've wanked it twice this morning and, to be honest, I sort of missed the company; it's just not the same without you, pal... this is a little embarrassing, but I find I need the attention to finish now.