The Hard Way

Last night I ate a cheese pizza. This morning while processing the result on the toilet I suddenly sneezed, causing an involuntary body-wide clench. This has had two unfortunate results-

1. I need a new toilet, as the old one now looks like it's waiting for a young Arthur to stroll by and prove himself to be king and

2. There is a specific act which I'll never pester a woman for. Ever.