Tink Hilton : One Dog Screaming

Entries from Tink Hilton's personal journal:

Feb.15.04 | 12:31
I just found out what a "Tinkerbell" is : she named me after a fairy. This cunt named me after a fairy. You know, because I'm small. That's great, lady, thanks. Like I don't have to put up with enough shit from the other dogs in this town because I look more like a bug than a dog, now I get basically called a fag by people who think parking meters are some sort of metal plant that only grow in the city. Thanks so much. You get it back there more than I do, honey, why don't we switch names. Your little Ritchie friend over there makes me redundant anyway, let me go for god's sake.

Feb.17.04 | 6:18
Oh joy. Again with the sweaters. Like I'm not self-conscious enough, now I'm fuzzier than this chick's brain after she snorts breakfast.

Feb.18.04 | 4:32
Jesus. you would not believe... okay, I know I'm dog, and hence given to a preoccupation with smells, but I assure you, even your de-evolved monkey noses could not deal with the daily tsunami of smells I have to endure from this woman. Money can buy happiness, but evidently a simple bottle of douche uses some sort of magical elf currency like unicorn horns or pixie dust that are beyond human means. Christ, if I smelled like that, I'd be put down.

Feb.18.04 | 5:13
Oh good, she's complaining about her diet again.
God, I've humped curvier legs.

Feb.19.04 | 11:46
Say, want to know how my morning went? Well, I'll tell you : I just spent 20 minutes, (that's an hour and a half in dog minutes), watching Lady Einstein here try to stuff a $100 bill into a vending machine.
"You don't know that I don't want that much soda!" she actually yelled at it, before calling it "a complete retread." I think she meant "retard", but who the Christ knows.
She's in the other room sulking and drinking from the tap. I spent the rest of the morning trying to lick a power socket.

Feb.20.04 | 1:15
Jesus pole-vaulting Christ...
Overheard while she's watching television in the next room : " Well, why don't they just keep Jews out of the airports, or give them special airports? Why can't they just avoid the other people over there?"
I thank god I don't know what the Christ lead up to that brainstorm.

Feb.20.04 | 3:18
Marshall Mcluhan once suggested that a chicken is just an egg's idea for getting more eggs.
I submit it was scabies that came up with the Richie girl.