Catching up with the folks

This inspired a whole bunch of conversations between John and his parents in my head, but ultimately, I figure it's only got one way to go:

" You get enough to eat?"
" Yeah, thanks. Uh... great meatloaf, Ma. Moist."
" I use Ragu. I remember you liked that."
" Right."
" Are you really going to keep your hair like that?"
" Like what, Mom?"
" It's very 1980s."
" Well..."
" Don't hassle the boy, Marge, he looks fine"
" It makes his face look round. He's not getting any younger, he needs to start meeting some real women."
" Real women, mom?"
" Well, you know."
" Aw, Jesus, Marge."
" YOU NEVER EVEN SAW TAXI DRIVER! SHE WAS SO DELICATE AND VULNERABLE, YET STRONG! I KNOW SHE WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD ME!"
" STOP YELLING AT YOUR MOTHER!"
" YOU COULDN'T SEND FLOWERS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?"
" SHE'S AN ACTRESS, MOM, THEY GET FLOWERS ALL DAY LONG! I HAD TO DISTINGUISH MYSELF! "
" STOP YELLING AT YOUR MOTHER!"
" DISTINGUISH YOURSELF ?! I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SHOW MY FACE FOR 22 YEARS!"
" WELL, YOUR LOSS IS SOCIETY'S GAIN!"
" DON'T YOU TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!"
" THAT'S IT, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
" I WILL!"
" Leave your laundry."
" Thanks, Mom."
" Hug your father."
" We'll shake hands. Don't make trouble, Marge."