I imagine a sarcophagus backstage with two pointy Gaultier cones on the front

I don't have cable, somebody please tell me :
When Madonna french kissed Britney Spears last night on the VMAs, did Britney sort of instantly shrivel and mummify while Madonna's crows feet disappeared and her breasts lifted up to 1984 level?
Did Madonna then turn into a bat? I'm dying to know.